Down to the Last Drop
Alack and alas........
Poor pathetic little bloggie. I can see that I've not really given my blog any attention. That's sad, one could get the impression that I'm not really interested in writing. Granted, I'm not a prolific writer, or prone to journal but, I do have my little spurts and sputters and have even recently written a poem with such title, "sputter" located in the poetry critique secion of Absolute Write.
Blogging seems to be the pulse of the world, one giant ball of syntax synapse. I feel like Pooh's little donkey friend, "Oh, my!"
Where to begin, what virtual thread of the giant ball could one possibly begin to unravel? And, why should one even bother? The immensity is overwhelming.
I'm pondering, it's muckish and I feel as though my fingers have become my feet sloshing through a little puddle of a brain with no great cause. To blog or not to blog has become a question.
Poetry is my vent. All I can do is think to post poetry until something else comes along. Bear with me, if you're even here at all.
?
hung on a question
pretending
to end a thought
i follow the dot
the curve up
to the spot where
surveying
the sequence logic
is not
characters cued
and grammar all skewed
a simple slide down
back to zero ground
Poor pathetic little bloggie. I can see that I've not really given my blog any attention. That's sad, one could get the impression that I'm not really interested in writing. Granted, I'm not a prolific writer, or prone to journal but, I do have my little spurts and sputters and have even recently written a poem with such title, "sputter" located in the poetry critique secion of Absolute Write.
Blogging seems to be the pulse of the world, one giant ball of syntax synapse. I feel like Pooh's little donkey friend, "Oh, my!"
Where to begin, what virtual thread of the giant ball could one possibly begin to unravel? And, why should one even bother? The immensity is overwhelming.
I'm pondering, it's muckish and I feel as though my fingers have become my feet sloshing through a little puddle of a brain with no great cause. To blog or not to blog has become a question.
Poetry is my vent. All I can do is think to post poetry until something else comes along. Bear with me, if you're even here at all.
?
hung on a question
pretending
to end a thought
i follow the dot
the curve up
to the spot where
surveying
the sequence logic
is not
characters cued
and grammar all skewed
a simple slide down
back to zero ground
posted by steadydrip | 6:06 PM
1 Comments:
What about "a question / hung on" at the start of the post-question-mark stanza? (Why the lower-case "i"? Feelin' blue?)
What follow are some suggestions merely! Please to take with whatever grains of salt are handy!
This is my own preference, but in little mindtricky poems like this, I love second person. Takes the focus off the speaker and puts it on the mindtrickitude.
Swapping around some phrases in the second (post-question-mark) stanza might strengthen the sense of a progression of events.
In the last stanza, what if "a simple" was "simply" and you eliminate "back"?
I like it, though, which surprises me. It's hard to make a good poem begun with / entitled by a question mark. Bravo, I say. And I lurve the end. zero ground vs ground zero is one of those image puns I just can't stop eating, no matter how much they fatten me and stick to my teeth. Like Krunchers.
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